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No Broken Bones

a personal Word for this season

Psalm 27:1, 13-14
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. 14 Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Psalm 34:4, 17-20
4 I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.
17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all.
20 He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken
.

I called a friend today. A man who had many years of very successful ministry under his belt. A very high profile within his circle. A man who today is experiencing some of the greatest fruitfulness a pastor could pray for. A man who also planted a church - a church that died.

I wonder why I keep feeling frustrated - why not only are my expectations not met, but everything I try as a leader seems to fail. I just had to talk to somebody who knew what I am feeling. So I called Dan. As he was telling me about he and his wife's 4-year ordeal I felt like he was reading my mind. The weight of "failure." The emotional depression. The personal attacks to thier health. That he didn't even feel like the same person he had been, full of passion and the Holy Spirit's power. Most of all, the crisis of his own theology. I knew he had been where I am. And I recieved from him exactly what I needed.

I was hoping for some advice, a magic trick that could change everything, or at least a prophetic word that could keep me propped up for a while. Instead, there was a passing comment that combined a couple of scriptures together that ended with Dan saying, "Jeff, you need a deliverance." Not a deliverance from here to somewhere else, or a freedom from some kind of bondage to sin, but a deliverance in my own soul (in my wife's soul) from the opression that keeps us from truly being who God has made us to be.

It seems we've been crying out forever, asking for His intervention. All the while fear continues to press in. Yet I'm holding to the promise of deliverance from it. There are so many things that are lurking deep in our soul in this dark time. Fear has found many little places to settle in. In fact Jayme still worries about tripping and falling and breaking her arm. It was so traumatic when it happened at the start of the church in 2000, the idea that an accident like that could happen again and incapacitate her still haunts her. these fear are trying to permanantly become past of our psyche.

Yet, the Word of God says there is nothing to be afraid of. I am to not lose heart for I will experience the fulfilment of God's promise. There is the call to patience and perserverance in this season. He not only hears us, but He has drawn near to us in our broken condition. He will deliver. He even protects our bones! So I guess I'll have to keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and He will deliver.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on July 22, 2003 12:00 AM.

The previous post in this blog was Making Successful Plans.

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