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Captain Backfire

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, And adds learning to his lips.

I was invited by one of the young guys in our church to play on his softball team. It's been a lot of fun. I'm getting to know all this guy's buddies and they are getting to know me. But it seems like every week I come home frustrated. Not because of something done or said by someone else. Because of something I said or did stupid. Thirty-six years old and I still can act like an arrogant/ignorant fool. I'm still concerned wih being cool or macho. It just looks stupid on me. And 99% of the time it shows up in something I've said.

This past Sunday I came home so embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I was asking for a ruling on something from the ump and one of the players on the other team (probably about my age too) made some comment to me from the dugout. So I had to "defend my manhood." After the game as the teams shake hands, I intentionally did not shake his. He started making more comments about my poor sportsmanship. So again I had to say something smart back. It's not that what I said was so bad. The issue for me is why do I let myself walk right into these traps that let put my flesh on display.

If I would let my heart teach my mouth, my life would be really different. Instead of being concerned about how I am percieved, I want the Lord to beclearly evident in my mouth. John Mayer has a song called "My Stupid Mouth." I has a great lyric that describes how I'm feeling -

So maybe I try too hard
But it's all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny
Looks like the jokes on me
So call me captain backfire

Well, I don't want Captain Backfire anymore. I want my heart to teach my mouth. Lord, help me. My desire is that "the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your sight" (Psalm 19:14).

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on July 16, 2003 12:00 AM.

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