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Willing To Give My Life

John 11:16
Then Thomas, who is called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”

I am continually intrigued by what it must have been like to be one of the 12 disciples. I wish I understood more about the culture of "rabbi" and "disciples." I do know enough to have an understanding about the life context for Jesus and the 12. Still, my childhood image of these fishermen packing up and leaving homes, jobs, and families, never to return for three solid years remains part of my filter when I am reading the gospels. Which makes this statement by Thomas (known to us as "doubting") so impactful.

I read about Peter's well-intentioned but ultimately empty commitment to stand with Jesus until death (John 13:37). His words often sound like mine. But Thomas' here are different. He has made a determination about what he stands for and it comitted to it, no matter the cost. See, at this time Jesus and the guys were about to head to Bethany because Lazarus was sick. The disciples warned Jesus that they shouldn't go because there were those who wanted to kill Jesus for his "blasphemy." Jesus told the 12 why He and they would be going - "that you may believe." Once again we see that Jesus is using circumstances to reveal himself, and this miracle served a larger purpose as a sign of the Kingdom that had come. But Thomas didn't know that at the time. Before him was a serious decision - go into Judea and be killed with Jesus or not.

Jesus had told the disciples that "whoever is willing to lose his life for My sake will find it" (Mt. 16:25). Thomas, who wasn't one of the three inner circle, who wasn't in on some of the big stuff (Transfiguraton, etc), was willing to really lose his life. Yet there was something else going on that Thomas didn't understand until after the Resurrection. Somtimes I'm like Thomas. I'm confronting the big issue, what I am comitted to, what my life is going to be about, but I miss the big picture. Jesus allows me to go with Him and experience life with Him, so that I will believe.

I'm learning that my life is not primarily about what I am willing to sacrifice, but what I am willing to believe.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on May 20, 2003 12:00 AM.

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