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What Fills Me Up?

John 4:34
Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.

I have restarted my fast today following my caving in at my daughter's birthday party yesterday (she's 5 today. My fast was only 2 days old). Even this morning I am torn about my motivation for fasting. I need some things to change in my life - an "addiction" to television, a subtle slothfulness that keeps creeping in (not laziness - not doing anything, but a growing tendancy to procrastinate) - so many more areas where I want to bear the fruit of self control. In addition, I want to see breakthrough in our church; for the presence of God to become even more tangible; for growth, both spiritual and numerical, to take place. All of these are impostant reasons, yet I was still wrestling with whether a food fast was the key.

So today I find myself readin the account of the woman at the well. And here's this side note in the larger story of Jesus being hungry (like I am right now). This quote was His response to his disciples who were concerned with His well-being. I have a note in my Bible on this verse from something Pastor Dale Evrist said back in 6/98 - "Are you filled by doing the will of God, or by the affirmation and admiration of men?" Ohhhh...this really helps me to focus on the bigger reasons for my current fast. It is about what fills me. Although I have grown in killing my pride, being at ICFG Convention reminded me of how far I have to go. I still talk about myself too much. I still compare too much. Instead of an authentic, Godly humility, I struggle with the "humiliation" that my lack of "success" has produced.

I want to be a man who find fulfillment in obedience, not results. I want to be "mature" (also "complete" - GK for "finish" in this verse) completing my God-given assignments, not being immature and only doing the stuff that comes easy. There certainly seems to be a lot riding on this - the growth of our church, my family's future, etc. But I am confident that as I find fullfimment in completing His work, He will complete His work in me (Phil. 1:6).

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on May 5, 2003 12:00 AM.

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